Eyes Wide Open

Sexy black sequined dress. Glasses raised. Auld Lang Syne blasting through the speakers.  Snuggled up with that special man, I danced my way into 2011 with my EYES HALF CLOSED.  I was on top of the world...at least that's what I thought...and so did everyone else. 
Very soon after 2011 started,  I realized that it was going to be a remarkable one!  I wasn't sure how my life would change.  I wasn't sure WHAT in my life would change, but I knew 100%, that it was going to change.  No, scratch that, I knew it HAD to change. 

I can only remember three to four times in my life where I heard the voice of God speaking to me in a way that was as clear as my own voice.  The first time I remember hearing it was when I was around 24 years old.  I heard it, but I didn't believe it and I couldn't trust it at that time. 

The most recent time was early last year. God spoke. I listened, and then I surrendered.  As a result, 2011 was one of the most amazing years of my life.  It was a year of revelations, realizations, peace, shedding, confidence, reconciliation, love and grace. 

As 2011 came to an end, I have to admit I wasn't excited about going into 2012. Quite honestly, I fell into 2012 kicking and screaming.  Part of me had fears about what it was going to bring for me - old habits die hard I guess. The other part of me just wasn't ready for the new year to begin. Saying that seems strange seeing as how I have absolutely no control over these things.  Yet and still, I wished I could slow down the clock a little and take some time to plan. 

Recently I had a chance to settle down a bit and think about what I want for my life this year.  I realize that much of it is a continuation of what God revealed to me in 2011.  The difference now is that I feel like I'm aligning with God to create the life I deserve.  I'm not doing "my thing" without consulting God about His will for my life. 

2012 came in in a non-momentous way. No cute, sexy, sparkly dress. No man to hold on to (at least not physically). No Auld Lang Syne. No streamers, confetti, cheers etc.  One thing I know for sure, MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN and I'm grateful.    Bring it 2012.  I'm ready now.   -TDH

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything  James 1:2-4