Off the Richter Scale

Me and my Grandmother Betty

My grandmother passed away on Sunday, March 27, 2011.

Losing my grandmother has created yet another shift in my emotional and mental foundation.  Something in me moved...and it's been happening a lot lately.  I liken this feeling to the recent earthquake in Japan that shifted the earth's axis and  moved the Japanese coast 8 feet (Quake moved Japan)!  Earthquakes can be devastating, destructive, and life changing. I have had several "earthquake experiences" over the past few months.  While some of these experiences have been painful, they have all been life changing and I've learned a great deal about life and about myself. 

My grandmother's home going service was beautiful.  It wasn't fancy or elaborate; she wouldn't have wanted it that way.  In fact, she would have been embarrassed by all of the attention paid to her.  At one point during the service I got up to give reflections about my grandmother and the first thing I noticed was a sea of familiar faces in the pews.  The church is probably the smallest one I've ever been in so I could literally see everyone in the church.  This immediately gave me a strong sense of comfort and support.  I looked at my grandfather sobbing on the front row and wished he could turn around and see and feel the same comfort I felt in that moment.  As I took my seat, I felt another shift. 

In the days after the service, my mom and I worked to clean out my grandmother's closet, donating some things and throwing away others my grandfather did not want to keep.  We came across an array of possessions my grandmother had acquired over the years:  expensive unworn clothes, purses (LOTS of purses), brand new shoes and jewelry, knick knacks, reminder notes to herself, credit cards, blank birthday cards, recipes, newspaper articles, coins and other keepsakes.  We found several things my grandfather wasn't even aware of.  Her closet was so full that you couldn't see any wall or floor space; it took us about 6 hours to clear that closet! 

Today I was back over cleaning the last few areas of the closet.  I walked in the room and saw my grandfather sitting on the bed looking into the empty closet.  I asked him if he was ok.  He said yes and began talking about my grandmother.  We talked for a bit before he got up and left me sitting there staring into the empty closet.  I began thinking about all of the "stuff" we had removed.  We filled at least 10 industrial sized garbage bags full of her things.  I became fixated on the word "stuff."  All of the expensive suits, dresses and shoes were folded and bagged up.  Many of the things I'm sure she once treasured were now stuffed into bags.  They no longer mattered...at least not to us.  Sure we kept some keepsakes (jewelry, a couple of timeless cute purses, knick-knacks and others), but most everything else we gave away.  In that moment sitting on the bed thinking about the all of the "stuff" we had removed from her closet,  about the family and friends who had been there for us, about my grandfather's broken heart and my grandmother's sweet resting spirit, I felt another shift.

The saying, "You can't take it with you," reminds us that all of the things we acquire (including money), are not things you can take with you when your spirit passes from your earthly body.  I like AND own several things: shoes, a house, clothes, books, movies, gadgets, etc., so I'm not suggesting that we should not acquire the "things" we desire to have in our lives.   The lesson I learned is not about owning "stuff," but more about having the right perspective about the "stuff" and keeping it in its place in my life. 

My grandmother's legacy is not about her stuff...it's about her kind spirit and humble heart and the love she had for her family.  The earthquake-like shifts I felt this week forced me to think about my "stuff" and what I'm doing with it.  Am I using it or is it sitting in my "closet" waiting for the right time?  Am I hiding "my stuff" in the back of my closet hoping no one will notice? Do I place more value on "my stuff" than I do my relationships?  If I die tomorrow will I be remembered for "my stuff" or for the impact I made in life? 

I know the answers to most of these questions but I realize I have more work to do.  I miss my grandmother and I worry about my grandfather but I am grateful to God for the shifts He's brought about in my life.  I like the new place I'm in.  Traci H.